After 21 years in the small (or as some would prefer, "intimate") Tingley Coliseum and almost as many years of political wrangling to try to move into a larger building, the Albuquerque Invaders have announced plans to move into the Microsoft Teams Center for the 2021-22 season. "The Saucer," so nicknamed because of its resemblance to an alien spaceship, is unlike any other arena in sports. The design relies on the newly patented ClearWood™ technology, which allows teams to play on a clear surface and fans to watch from the stadium seating below. Concessions and "rafters" are on the floor of the bowl, allowing fans to get a snack and check out their team's history while still getting a view of the court (even if you do have to crane your neck to see it). Fans who don't want to see basketball from below can watch from the public park surrounding the stadium, which is open to the public on non-game days. Plus, with the amount of natural light coming through the clear dome and clear floor, matinee games can be played under natural light, saving energy. All in all, the Saucer promises a unique experience for fans, players, and everybody else alike.

Editor's note: the concept art we had prepared for the MTC was apparently stolen by "creatures of an unknown origin" (?!) so you'll have to make do with this sketch I drew in ten minutes:

Osgiliath Guard wrote:

master BDoof (CodeG) wrote:

Your Denver Mountaineers have their new coach for the 2021 AltBA season. Using the combined enterprises and intellect that the Einstein Brothers, Magic and BDoof, they were able to craft the most improbably, unbelievable, menacing, talented, one could even say monstrous coach to help their struggle franchise. His name, is Neo-Red Auerbach v9,001. See, Red was considered to instrumental in his coaching and thinking that similar to Walt Disney and Ted Williams his head was posthumously preserved deep underground in Orlando. Using their ninja skills and their remote controlled sock puppet bagels, they sneaked into the facility and took it by force. Coming out barely unscathed as the real-life Buzz Lightyear nearly captured them both. Once free, they took to the intellectual hive-mind that each Einstein bakery possesses, and were able to revive ol' Red Auerbach, however, they need to give him a body so they created the strongest, most durable, cybernetic body with a RTX 4080 (how they acquired this in this economy is beyond me). Thus, Neo-Red Auerbach v9,001 is now ready to lead your Denver Mountaineers... until he needs maintenance. 

The Bagel Bros. hope that Neo-Red Auerbach v9,001 will be able to reproduce the results of the original; who won 9 NBA championships (including 8 in a row) as a coach and 7 more as an executive. He won nearly 1,000 games. He also helped pioneer the fast break as a viable and tactical option in the slower-paced basketball of the 40s, 50s, and 60s.

What did I just read....

Straight up facts.

Greensboro was not picked with strategy, but merely as a jab at a divisional opponent. We set up shop in their backyard, and Red Hydrant was even going to name his minor league team the "Walkers", but Jimmer advised against it. Instead, the brand gives a nod to the "Greensboro Four", who stood up to their oppressors during a time when minorities did not have much of a voice. Greensboro played a significant role in the change of American history during the Civil Rights Movement, and also has 1 of only 107 HBCUs in the USA. To implement basketball in the identity, we used the number "5" to represent the number of players on the court for a team during play. The colors turn Atlanta's peach into orange, creating a combo that matches the Greensboro Grasshoppers of the South Atlantic Baseball League, ultimately giving a scheme that represent the city. The home and away are pretty straightforward, but the alternant should be mentioned due to its deep cut in North Carolina fictional basketball history. While it says Greensboro on it, these threads pay homage to the "Durham Smoke Eaters". The Eaters were owned by the American Tobacco Company, and made history by being the first basketball team to call NC their home.

 EnigmatiCorp, in tandem with the acquisition of the Texas Jackalopes, has purchased an expansion team in the Alternate Arena Football, that will come to share the Auditorium with the Texas Jackalopes. It is also being announced that EnigmatiCorp has completed the purchase of the Auditorium.

The Kansas City Marshals would like to announce the eminent domain takeover of head coach Gregg Popovich from some alternate dimension team called the Spurs.

The multidimensional hiring firm and management team JHA holdings has also announced the absorption of Minnesota basketball legend Lindsay Whalen as an assistant coach.

Joining her is legendary Marshall coach Dan D'Antoni. He did not struggle when we called.