WCEHL 1957 Owner’s Table
(The scene is set for the annual owners meeting as nine odd looking men shuffle in to the stuffy room located in the guts of Iceland Arena. Zamboni starts his attendance count.)
 
Zamboni
     One, two, three, four, five, six, sev-
 
Cooper Dust
     Hey, Zamboni! You trying to count the number of teams we are letting in the gauntlet this year? Can we make it eight so my boys can just squeak by?
 
Zamboni
     Dog damnit, Cooper! I’m trying to make sure we are all here.
 
Buzz Buissen 
     That requires counting? There are eight teams in this league, Zamboni.
 
Tin Canton
     Now, don’t be cruel. Some people excel in different areas.
 
French Friday
     Can we shut up and let the man do his job?

 
*Everyone looks around the room silently.*
 

Zamboni
     Let’s get started before my headache becomes unbearable. First, the gauntlet. The play-in round seemed ineffective last season, providing two sweeps. Can we all agree four is our magic number?
 
French Friday
     It made no sense in the first place. I knew we would be sitting cold while others got some exhibition games. I agree on four.
 
Jed Diggins
     You knew you were going to get swept by a team that spends half of your salary, as well?
 
French Friday
     Don’t worry, you spend the other half sending people to their demise in mines that were gutted of all gold in 1949.
 
Zamboni
     What’s your point? We are made up of a squeamish tuna canner, a honey company ironically established in the Beehive State, irresponsible military weaponry, a guy who picked the lesser of two materials in his own state, me and two others who we aren't sure how they got their funding. Is Diggins investment really that insane?
 
Cooper Dust
     You know turquoise is where the real money is in Arizona?
 
Zamboni
     I’m done here. Is there anything else that needs to be addressed? Speak now or hold your peace.

Tin Canton 
     Shall we talk about the random individual who has been standing this whole meeting? Why didn’t you set up enough seats, Zamboni? You’re usually a better host than that.
 
Zamboni
     The What?
 

*All eyes shift down the table to a long, lanky man dressed in mostly khaki, who is situated behind Sgt. Johnson’s shoulder.*
 

The “Random Individual”
     Well, you all are charming, aren’t you?
 
Sgt. Johnson
     Fellas, this is Irwin Stevenson. He is the latest addition to the Oakland Patriots ownership group.
 
Irwin Stevenson
     OORAH!
 
Sgt. Johnson
     Please don’t embarrass me your first day of boot camp, Stevenson. 
 
French Friday
     And what does this one do?
 
Irwin Stevenson
     Sir, I own and manage the Sacramento Zoo and Wildlife Conservation Center.
 
French Friday
     Huh, not bad. How do you generate enough income from that to own a hockey team?
 
Irwin Stevenson
     I have the animals wrassle for bets after hours.
 
French Friday
     Ah, there’s the kicker.
 
Sgt. Johnson
     Stevenson is here to give the team an economic boost, as I continue to control all other aspects of our organization. He has one demand, though. He requests that Oakland adds a color that can be associated to some animal that he is trying to get at his zoo. The guy says it will gain awareness for the cause.
 
Irwin Stevenson
     It would be an elephant, sir.
 
Stumbles
     Hell, I love dem elephants! They so big and fascinating being a light blue and such.
 
Irwin Stevenson
     Elephants are not baby blu-
 
Zamboni
     Motion passed, the Oakland Patrions are approved to add baby blue to their color palette.
 
Jed Diggins
     We're allowed to do that? I motion for the addition of lavender. That stuff smells good.
 
Zamboni
     Diggins… no. Let’s get out of here. 
 
 
1957 WCEHL Meeting Notes
-     The gauntlet is downsized to four teams after six proved to be ineffective.
-     Oakland Patriots add Irwin Stevenson as an owner. 
-     Oakland will undergo a rebrand prior to the season.  
 
 
Also, here’s a look at Stevenson and a sneak peak of the direction Oakland is going for their change. I’ll release Stevenson’s owner bio and Oakland's new jerseys next.


(As always, I love to hear what you all think.)

Last edited by Thehealthiestscratch (12/08/2020 9:59 pm)

Who is Irwin Stevenson?
 
     Time to give a warm welcome to the most exotic owner in the WCEHL. Irwin Stevenson was born in Sydney, Australia and grew up in a family of highly regarded zoologists who spent most of their time exploring the Outback on the government’s dime. Irwin did not share the intellect of his family from a young age, but ever since a rogue kangaroo smacked him in the back of the head at the age of six, it seemed that the young animal lover had on odd telepathic ability that only worked with the beasts of the wild.
 
     Stevenson would gain knowledge that far surpassed his family's, and he too would gain the fame they had. His tragic downfall would come in 1932 when a teenage meltdown led to the infamous Australian Emu War. Prior to Stevenson joining the Emu’s side, this historic event was merely the government’s attempt to contain Australia’s emu population, but, in rebellious teenage fashion, Irwin would flip the tide for the Emu side, leading to a war that would last a year. The outcome of this war is not clear, but we do know that Irwin Stevenson would flee to Sacramento, California and start his own zoo.
 
     While the wildlife genius achieved in keeping high marks for maintaining animal health in his zoo, he was no businessman, causing him financial struggles early. This is when Stevenson and his animals came up with a plan to generate revenue based on the fascination that humans had with animals fighting in nature. They called it the Wildlife Wrestling Federation, and the idea was to stage fights between the zoo animals with dramatic story arcs built around them to gain more interest from spectators. The concept was a hit, causing the Sacramento zoo to thrive! The success generated more foot traffic, and in turn gave Irwin the revenue needed to take care of his stars, and convince other wild wonders of the world to head to Sacramento, seeking the same treatment.
 
     Recently, Irwin has been lobbying to get the approval of an elephant for the zoo, but has been hitting road blocks with local government. To gain the attention needed to blast through these blocks, Stevenson has constructed a plan to market his cause throughout the west coast by obtaining 50 percent of a hockey team from his struggling friend Sgt. John Johnson, who he met in 1955 when the owners of the WCEHL played hooky during the draft to attend opening day at Risneyland. The encounter between the two happened when Irwin was almost shot by Johnson while studying the anatomy of animatronic wildlife on the Jungle Cruise attraction, which led to a heated shootout and, eventually, a pleasant lunch.
 
     The story of Stevenson is one that hopes to climb to the canopy, while Johnson prays to stay afloat, but both are connected by dreams of success outside of hockey. Hopefully, this need of success reinvigorates the Patriots, rather than sink them.
 
     Only the future will tell.
 
 

Red, White and Blue.... and Blue.

     With a new faces came new threads, which made the Oakland Patriots look like they cared a tad more about their overall presentation. Stevenson took the collaboration opportunity, and decided to make it more about ripping Sgt. Johnson’s design process to shreds. He started by taunting the veteran owner by asking why their team had championship patches if they haven’t even seen what the Magnum looked like. This heated Johnson up, and the situation went from collaboration to the military man storming out exclaiming, “Don’t you ruin my team, you dung loving galah”!
     
     Alone, Stevenson went to work with the goal to incorporate his new palette without ruining the brand that had already been established. The stripe pattern on the original white jersey was kept, but the colors were altered to create a more balanced pattern. Stevenson then removed color from the shoulders and created a dark jersey to match.
     
     The same process was done below the waist, where the team recolored the sock stripes to match the new jerseys. The only thing to remain untouched were the navy breezers and gloves, which helped tone down the bright colors.

(Tell me what you think! Here's where the original threads are for reference: https://imgur.com/tl80wVW)

Section30 wrote:

I'm with Irwin, the Emu's did nothing wrong

I'm a fan of the new unis for Oakland, the light blue is a nice touch and the striping is unique, well done

Hold your horses! Who knows what the emus did to the Australians in this universe. For all we know, they could have broken the Geneva Conventions... those war hungry birds. Thanks for the compliment on the jerseys! I like them much more than their previous, as much as the "World War Champions" patch will be missed. 

You're names are always clever Scratch, I particularly love this new wildlife guru Irwin Stevenson that definitely have nothing to do with the famous Steve Irwin.
I like the addition of the "elephant" blue to the Patriots color scheme and the rebrand. I'm excited to see what's next.

sportsfan7 wrote:

Thehealthiestscratch wrote:

Section30 wrote:

I'm with Irwin, the Emu's did nothing wrong

I'm a fan of the new unis for Oakland, the light blue is a nice touch and the striping is unique, well done

Hold your horses! Who knows what the emus did to the Australians in this universe. For all we know, they could have broken the Geneva Conventions... those war hungry birds. Thanks for the compliment on the jerseys! I like them much more than their previous, as much as the "World War Champions" patch will be missed. 

What about an "Emu War Champions" patch?

This would imply that the emus took over Australia... and I don't even hate the idea of that.

MyTeamIsDr.Pepper wrote:

You're names are always clever Scratch, I particularly love this new wildlife guru Irwin Stevenson that definitely have nothing to do with the famous Steve Irwin.
I like the addition of the "elephant" blue to the Patriots color scheme and the rebrand. I'm excited to see what's next.

MMMmmmmMMmmMMmmm isn't it 

ThisIsFine wrote:

MyTeamIsDr.Pepper wrote:

You're names are always clever Scratch, I particularly love this new wildlife guru Irwin Stevenson that definitely have nothing to do with the famous Steve Irwin.
I like the addition of the "elephant" blue to the Patriots color scheme and the rebrand. I'm excited to see what's next.

 
Oh no oh god how does he die this time

I barely get a season ahead before posting, so I guess any hot take is a good one!