ZO82 wrote:

This league is Weird.

But I can't look away...

Blink and you might miss something!

Dan O'Mac wrote:

"You're French or your name is?" "Yes."

That cracked me up way more than something that simple should've.

I'm very happy you found this funny because it is a consistent thing I do out of habit with everyone when I am prompted with a "this or that" question that has the same answer. Friends aren't thrilled with the response usually haha. I especially like doing it when I just don't know the answer to a question where "yes" or "no" aren't sufficient responses to the question. 

GoRedSox96 wrote:

This league is just bizarre. I could see this as a TV show that aired sometime after 1975

Check ABC's fall lineup of 2021. I'm pushing the network hard for it.

Osgiliath Guard wrote:

But anyways, I love the Long Beach Earthquakes, especially the name. Keep it up, my dude.

ProsecutorMilesEdgeworth wrote:

Are we not gonna mention his name is French Friday? That’s a name and a half!

Good looking Long Beach, as well!

Thanks for the compliments! Was just trying to add something the league didn't really have. I'll explain the meaning behind the identity soon.

Rugrat wrote:

Haha! French Friday I love it! Long Beach looks a little boring for now but I’m sure it will get better.

Hey, you asked for expansion, not exciting expansion! I filled the criteria this time around, be more specific next time. hahaha

Darknes wrote:

..Was I at that Owner's Table or did Stumbles get sent again?

It would be stumbles who attends those meetings. Seagull feels you are more valuable to the organization and does not want to risk your health around the group of dummies. You do relay info to Stumbles, using him more like a puppet than a coach.



    Oh hey, ahhh… youuu – Yes maybe I forgot your name, but this is your fault for not stopping by in so long! – You thought you had annoyed me? – Because I hit you with a pan? You can’t prove that was on purpose. Sure, when I realized the pan made contact with your face I decided to put some more force behind it, but that’s because I didn’t want to seem weak!
 
     No don’t leave, you’re the closest thing to my best friend other than Spot, my god. Here, let me make it up to you with another team! Buckle up because here comes the French.
 
 
LONG BEACH EARTHQUAKES
 
     French Friday is one that has found his way around the world, moving constantly due to his swindling lifestyle. While he always proudly claims Montréal as his home, Montréal would never claim Friday as a son of the city. After performing the “Friday Scheme”, which is a systematic con that French created to skim a day’s worth of pay per week from every employee at his own marketing firm, the city decided to ban him. He did not learn from this punishment, continuing to travel North America using smaller, but effective, wise guy plans to hustle mounds of money. Friday has racked up his list of bans with places that include New York, Chicago, Hamilton, South Bend, Florida and Torland. French is technically wanted by many authorities, but his ability to keep a low profile and create incredible webs of lies has made him hard to catch. Friday now finds himself in the West Coast for the first time with a clean slate. Will he leave his lawless life in the past to pursue his dream of owning a hockey team, or might he still have something up his sleeve?
 

     French picked Long Beach because it was the first place he felt safe enough to make his home. The name Earthquakes was chosen as the team’s name because Friday had a fascination with the natural disaster and how unpredictable they are, much like himself. The team’s logo does not scream “Earthquake”, but Friday enjoyed the simplicity of the look. It reminded him of his previous business, while reminding the players and league that the Earthquakes were all business, a team not to be messed with.
 
     Long Beach had actually experienced an Earthquake in 1933 that would destroy a lot of property. As a result of this destruction, Long Beach gave their city a face lift by reconstructing downtown with Art Deco inspired architecture. Friday uses this fact to tie the name with the city, making it more obvious by using Art Deco inspired colors for his club. The jerseys are primarily navy and use a double stripe pattern that repeats on the arms and mirrors itself on the shoulders and hem. Speaking of shoulders, the Earthquakes are the only team in the league who use some type of shoulder outline, going all out to really separate themselves. They are also the only team to use a tie up collar. 

Last edited by Thehealthiestscratch (8/15/2020 8:34 pm)

GoRedSox96 wrote:

Long Beach looks pretty good. And about that Long Beach earthquake didn’t know about that, do you even live in Long Beach scratch? 

No, I am from California, but not that part, and live in the desert now. I only know that because I like to do some research on the cities I pick before giving a name. It hasn't been very obvious with most teams in the league, but hopefully it shows more in the future. Only teams I've taken a deep dive in history for are the San Diego Canners and Two Towns Hockey Club, so far. 

AJHFTW wrote:

I really dig the Long Beach Earthquakes set from the logo to the jerseys it's really works very well in my mind.

That's always nice to hear. I wanted a flashy, old money look for the Quakes that gave a sense of Gatsby era, Art Deco. I personally enjoy the college like logo in sports (It's almost like I used it to poke fun at college teams having block letters that are considered classic logos). That Rangers type shoulder striping is a favorite of mine, so I'm happy to hear there's some love for it here.

I think the draft is next. I'll try to get that up tomorrow. 

Last edited by Thehealthiestscratch (8/17/2020 2:01 am)

MyTeamIsDr.Pepper wrote:

Good work all around, I'm not the biggest hockey person so it's refreshing to see someone take such a satire-y approach to a league. Makes me feel like I'm the smart one here, haha. Great work for real Scratch, the logos and uniforms look nice and the stories make me laugh, keep it up!

Pull up a seat, you'll fit right in. I also appreciate the kind words!


Mr. Zamboni's Wild Ride

     It was late July in the year 1955, and the Motel 365’s banquet room that hosted the WCEHL draft seemed a little quiet this year.
 
     Friday (leaning over to whisper in The House’s ear without knowing who it was)
“Are these usually this calm? Are the other owners really so careless that they wouldn't show up?”
 
     The House
“I don’t know I’ve never met them. Stumbles seems to enjoy their company though.”
 
     Friday
“Stumbles? I’ve walked into a circus.”
 
     At the same time Friday muddled those words, the other owners were walking into Risneyland on its opening day celebration! They had forgotten about the draft (to most people’s relief), but this was a once in a lifetime experience that needed to be celebrated with friends. Their day went as follows:

7:00 AM – The owners sneak in using counterfeit tickets they bought from a man who wrote “Risney ticket” with a pen on a napkin.
8:00 AM – Buissen can be heard doing a deep, mucus filled cough on national TV as Malt Risney spoke his famous introduction, “To all who come to this happy place, I’ve proven that joy can be bought”.
11:00 AM – Sgt. Johnson unholsters a desert eagle and unloads it on an animatronic that scared him during a Jungle Cruise ride. He then proceeded to knock out the disgruntled Skipper and lead the voyage himself. Some say it was the most inspiring performance they’ve ever seen in the ride's history. So much so that Sgt. Johnson would continue to host cruises for important guests and special occasions until his old age made it so he could not do it any longer. 
1:00 PM – Tin Canton gets scared on Snow White's Scary Adventure, so Zamboni buys him ice cream and takes the Canner to Autopia.
3:00 PM – Cooper Dust loses his right boot because the cement had not set at the park. He somehow did not realize this until he was told that he didn’t meet the height requirement for the Mad Tea Party. Dust would have to go to the gift store and purchase comically oversized slippers meant to look like Rickey the Chain-Smoking Rat’s cartoon shoes. He still occasionally wears them to team meetings because of how comfortable they are.
4:15 PM – Diggins challenges Rickey the Chain-Smoking Rat to a bare-chested fist fight. Diggins would lose in round 4 of the 5-round event, but he was able to gain the rat’s respect.
 

1955 WCEHL Entry Draft

     Back at the Motel, the draft offered some interesting moves from all teams. With the first pick, San Diego added to their deep prospect pool by taking Rezvan Ruohong, who is a risky pick due to the fact that he popped up on the radar out of nowhere only a year ago. Ray Strickland would go next to TTHC, the team had been eyeing the Colorado native from the start because he fit the organization's “play now” approach for prospects. The most shocking move came after the third pick when Salt Lake selected promising forward, Ryan Bennett, and immediately dealt him to San Diego for veteran goalie, Ken Seymour. (This would be considered an even trade by many analysts in attendance)
 
     The first round’s back end consisted of California, Oakland and Arizona all selecting players with similar ability, but specialties in different areas. Las Vegas would conclude the opening seven by picking Adrian Berry, a player who was rightfully selected behind the rest, but still worthy of a shot when considering the competitive nature that is growing in the league.
 
     The draft’s rounds would circle like a carousel, passing by slowly with odd circus music playing in the background. Well, the second part was only true for French Friday, who had been in a daze since realizing he had made the trip to the draft without actually owning any picks. It was only his first month in the league, but there were already signs of the chaos getting to him. Some were born to be part of the machine, and some were meant to be consumed. Friday, a man many would describe as normal, is no different, and it is only a matter of time until the WCEHL claims its next victim.
 
Quick Notes
Winner of the draft: San Diego Canners
     The blue, gold and tin are starting to prove they know a thing or two about prospects, and the fact that they had 3 of the first 12 picks makes them even more scary. It is only a matter of time until the youth shines on this team.
 
Loser of the draft: Long Beach Earthquakes
     I mean, there owner sat by himself through the whole thing. This would be the equivalent  of a child being forced to watching others open gifts on their own birthday. Hopefully someone feels sorry enough to pay the valet bill for him.


​As always, feel free to ask questions regarding the draft... or anything in the post, honestly. Next will be a wild ride through free agency and trades. Until then, I'll leave you with this...... you all remember how that song "It's A Small World" goes?
 

Last edited by Thehealthiestscratch (8/18/2020 10:52 am)

Geez, Scratch, did you have to write French like Pierre Dorion? Like, come on, man. Have some sympathy.


No, no. I'm kidding. The Dis-sorry, Risneyland trip was probably the best thing I've read in a long time. You are a hell of a story writer. Some one get him a TV contract.