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KOB 4 Eyewitness News
27 February 2022
Albuquerque, NM - As many of you have already noticed, a giant turquoise hot air balloon was spotted floating through much of downtown Albuquerque today. Strangely, the balloon did not have a basket or gondola, but rather a lawn chair, occupied by none other than local Igneus D. McQueen impersonator Igneus D. McQueen. McQueen appeared to be yelling something and making several strange gestures with his hands, though no discernible meaning could be attained from his actions. A megaphone believed to belong to McQueen was later found near Petroglyph National Monument, which he presumably dropped early in his flight.
Either more or less interesting, depending on your point of view, was the logo emblazoned on the balloon. Scientists believe that this is the logo for Albuquerque's new AAA baseball team. Many residents have found hats and jerseys stuck in their mailboxes since the balloon incident, accompanied by legal documents that supposedly clear McQueen of "cross-universe copyright infringement". Based on this evidence, we believe that the team will be named the Albuquerque Quarks, with these logos and jerseys:
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The Querq Quarks. Glorious.
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Dan O'Mac wrote:
The Querq Quarks. Glorious.
The Querqs. You may now laugh.
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CCLXXXVII wrote:
Dan O'Mac wrote:
The Querq Quarks. Glorious.
The Querqs. You may now laugh.
Were they a single-A or maybe a double-A team I absolutely would've spelled it Quarqs.
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In an efficient mood, Milwaukee Muskies team owner Michael Burmy announced his team details (further details to follow.
Manager: Kevin Seitzer
Legacy Ballpark: Milwaukee County Stadium (53,192)
Modern Ballpark: St. Paul Park (41,900) (naming rights sponsor is the St. Paul Fish Company, located in the Milwaukee Public Market)
AAA Team: Madison Fighting Bobs
AA Team: Green Bay Tailgaters
A Team: Racine Rhinos
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Completed in early 2002 to supersede the aging St. Paul Park (in the city of St. Paul, holding 11,846), the Minnesota Metropolitan Multiplex (a.k.a. the 3M or the MinneMet) today plays host to the Minnesota Gemini. Holding a modest 22,022 people, the 3M-sponsored MinneMet stands in Eden Prairie, Minnesota near the intersection of US-212 and I-494. Also at the Multiplex are youth soccer and lacrosse fields, a curling club, and a world-class eighteen-hole disc golf course.
Due to the low capacity at St. Paul Park, the Gemini sought a larger facility, threatening relocation. To test the waters, the team played a few home series in 1998 in Moorhead. Those games sold out despite higher individual ticket prices, so the next year, the Gemini would return to Moorhead and test Duluth and Rochester as well. These experiments went so swimmingly that the program was made permanent. Because fewer games would be played there, the MinneMet was designed not to maximize capacity, but rather to impact the community in a positive way. In addition, the Gemini Youth Foundation has funded the construction of a baseball stadium of at least five thousand seats in a different Minnesota city biannually since 2000. The parks are completely funded by corporate and private donations and gifted to the host city along with an annual stipend for upkeep on the condition that the Gemini can play some home series there every few years. The cities with GYF stadiums are:
2000 - Moorhead
2002 - Duluth
2004 - Rochester
2006 - St. Cloud
2008 - Mankato
2010 - East Grand Forks
2012 - Arden Hills
2014 - Marshall
2016 - Brainerd
2018 - Willmar
2020 - Stillwater
2022 - Austin
Through the constant restructuring of the AAAltLB, the AAltLB, and the low-level minors, the Gemini have had quite the shakeup of their affiliate structure. Below are the current affiliates of the Minnesota Gemini:
AAAltLB - Iowa Maze Marshals (Cedar Rapids)
AAltLB - West Virginia Greens (Charleston)
Low-level minor - Wyoming Blues (Casper)
Last edited by JamHeronArk (2/28/2022 8:59 am)
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Darknes wrote:
For Immediate Release
If I were to cut you open, would I find Samuel Adams and New England clam chowder instead of a wicked amount of blood?
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The Keystones, being one of the oldest teams in the AltLB, have called the same building home since the start. Keystone Park has always been the home of the Stones, but it has undergone multiple renovations over the years. These additions were mainly just to fit a higher capacity, not really caring much for the aesthetics of the ballpark. It definitely isn't flashy and it sure wont win any "Best Stadium in the League" awards anytime soon, but it has that old school feel that fans wouldn't trade for the world, piss troughs and all. The stadium has always been known as "Keystone Park", but in 2012 the stadium came to a deal with the Keystone Beer company which has lasted since.
Danny DeVito and the Philadelphia Keystones are happy to unveil our minor league affiliate cities, with identities to be revealed at a later date:
Triple-A: Washington Eagles (Washington, DC)
Double-A: Lehigh Valley Steelers (Allentown, PA)
Single-A: Trenton Potters (Trenton, NJ)
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Manager: Jimmer Fredette
AAA: Austin Spam Slappers (MN)
AA: South Lake Tahoe Blue Ballers
A: Minnesota White Lake Bears of White Bear Lake
Last edited by Thehealthiestscratch (2/28/2022 1:33 pm)
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The Carolina Griffins are proud to announce their minor league affiliates for the 2022 AltLB season.
AAA: Charlotte Monarchs
AA: Norfolk Neptunes
A: Asheville Moon Runners
As for the Griffins' stadium history, they used to play in the Carolinadome, a 35,000-seat stadium in Raleigh shared with a local university, built in 1987, far before the team started play. In 2019, however, they finally moved out of what was considered one of the worst parks in baseball into the 41,919-seat PNC Park, a gorgeous stadium located in downtown Raleigh. In Charlotte, they play at the 35,704-seat Ally Field, which is also home to the Monarchs.