FOR INTERTEMPORAL RELEASE

18 June 2021

Red Deer, AB - Igneus D. McQueen appeared at Westerner Park Centrium in Red Deer today to introduce the Edmonton Wildcats' AAA team. "We're proud to have the great city of Red Deer under the Wildcats umbrella," said McQueen. "I've always loved this city, and its name is a palindrome, and I've always loved palindromes." (Editor's note: It's not.) After a few more hours of platitudes, McQueen introduced the team's brand, the Red Deer Pioneers:


McQueen spent several more hours explaining the team's brand, but without all the NikeSpeak, what you're left with is this: the name honors the original pioneers who settled the town. Rather than being a human pioneer, though, the logo is a red deer wearing a coonskin cap, because of course it is. The uniforms are based largely around the team's three shades of brown, with a consistent striping pattern on the yoke, sleeves, and hem across all three jerseys. The alternate also features a Pioneers script.

After about eight hours, McQueen opened the floor for questions. A visibly tired reporter asked about the Wildcats' AA team, to which McQueen responded: "They won't let me release that yet." When asked who "they" were, McQueen replied, "They won't let me release that either. In fact, I've probably already said t-" At this point, a flash of light pierced the sky and McQueen vanished into the night, leaving behind a very confused crowd and some dope Pioneers merch.

Last call for the AltHL redesigns! I'll post the polls tomorrow morning. 

I'm 90% sure that trout bullied me in high school.

Dan O'Mac wrote:

I'm 90% sure that trout bullied me in high school.

 
I’m 100% sure that uttering that trout’s true name is a severe criminal offense in 124 countries.

FOR POSSIBLE EVENTUAL RELEASE
North Gower, Ontario
Sitting outside North Gower Pizza, Ottawa Guardians owner Osgiliath Guard announced the uniforms for his two farm teams on a small, dying ASUS phone. While most reporters were unable to see what the uniforms looked like, we were able to get a copy of the uniforms. The Gateneau Roughriders of the AAAltHL had a home and away uniform that matched the Ottawa Roughriders of local fame and a third that featured large red stripes on the sleeves. The AAltHL Windsor Hurricanes sport army green and officer's gold jerseys with a unique striping pattern. The stripes on the home jerseys replicate chevrons used on military uniforms, albeit blown up. The away has the same stripes meeting in the middle to provide a version of a chest stripe, while the alternate boasts simple, classic striping and a WINDSOR wordmark. A rough illustration of the Hawker Hurricane is their logo.

Last edited by Osgiliath Guard (6/30/2021 6:12 pm)