- DireBear
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- From: Phoenix/Chicago
- Registered: 4/26/2020
- Posts: 577
Re: AltBA Design Thread
In a somewhat-rushed press conference, Dire took to the stand to announced the LA Olympians Ass(.?) Coach. "So our Ass Coach will be USC and New York Jets legend Mark Sanchez. Don't worry, he's quite familiar with the art of the ass. He ran right into one!"
- QCS
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- Registered: 5/18/2019
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
The Charlotte Flyers are proud to announce their Ass Coaches: Gritty, the mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers, and Donkey, from the hit movie Shrek. More details will come at a later date.
- ANDY!
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
The Seattle Emeralds have hired a legend in the sport of basketball to be their ass coach.
- Dan O'Mac
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- Registered: 5/22/2019
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
Upon seeing the emphasis on Ass Coaches, and that style of play, Pittsburgh Head Coach, Tim Duncan, decided he needed to bring on another Ass Coach to help counter that style of play. Heading back to his playing days with the Jackalopes, Coach Duncan has hired one of the greatest floppers in AltBA history. Willing to take the charge, and sell it like he was just shot at point blank range, Manu Ginóbili will be on staff to teach the current Hammers how to take the fall, act hurt, and get indignant to increase the fouls from the other team, put the Hammers in the Bonus, and beat them with free throws.
2x Alt Champion :: AltLB Champion Oklahoma City Bison - 2022 :: AltFL Champion New York Emperors - 2022
- Stickman
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- Registered: 5/21/2019
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
Dan O'Mac wrote:
Upon seeing the emphasis on Ass Coaches, and that style of play, Pittsburgh Head Coach, Tim Duncan, decided he needed to bring on another Ass Coach to help counter that style of play. Heading back to his playing days with the Jackalopes, Coach Duncan has hired one of the greatest floppers in AltBA history. Willing to take the charge, and sell it like he was just shot at point blank range, Manu Ginóbili will be on staff to teach the current Hammers how to take the fall, act hurt, and get indignant to increase the fouls from the other team, put the Hammers in the Bonus, and beat them with free throws.
The Pittsburgh Hammers: Turning Basketball into Soccer since 2021
Last edited by Stickman (4/06/2021 9:46 am)
- Burmy87
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- Posts: 547
Re: AltBA Design Thread
The Washington Warbirds have announced that they have brought on their own first "Ass Coach" in Hakeem Olajuwon, perhaps the greatest player from their legacy era.
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- Kingsfan11
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- From: The French part of Canada
- Registered: 10/19/2020
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
The Vancouver Caribou are proud to announce the hiring of their Assistant Coach, Pittsburgh Hammers legend and the black mamba himself, Kobe Bryant
Last edited by Kingsfan11 (4/06/2021 11:25 am)
- ThisIsFine
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- Registered: 6/23/2019
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
Just to reiterate, backing up Earvin Johnson as head coach will be former Rainbow Warrior Phil Handy and 1996 (AltBA 2006) Rookie of the Year Damon Stoudamire.
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- ProsecutorMilesEdgeworth
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- Registered: 5/18/2019
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Re: AltBA Design Thread
Breaking! In honor of the recent trend, the Minnesota Giants will announce that Shaquille “The Big Diesel” O’Neal will be the Ass Coach for the Giants.
BREAKING! Realizing that acknowledging one part of Ass Coaches was a folly of Prosecutor Edgeworth, and he would like to announce that “White Chocolate” Jason Williams will be a second Ass Coach this year for the Giants. “No ass. coachng is complete with one part of coaching, so Coach Williams will also be giving our players more skills to light up the court at the Ritch.”
Charlotte Racers (2016 AltHL Champions) St. Louis Explorers (2000 & 2011 AltBowl Champions) Minnesota Giants (2000, 2004, 2006 & 2014 AltBA Champions)
"The prosecution is ready, Your Honor. That is a pepper, of course."
- Enigmajones
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- Registered: 6/11/2020
- Posts: 477
Re: AltBA Design Thread
EnigmatiCorp has announced the intent to host 6 preseason games in four different markets. If allowed by the league, the Jackalopes declared the plan to play two games each in Houston and San Antonio, with one game each in Arlington and El Paso.
Owner of the Texas Jackalopes
2008-2009 AltBA Champions