(Let’s remember that this is a dramatized version of trends in sports, and when it comes to identities I lean into absurdities. In no way do I mean any harm. I only say what I do to underline the things that have been seen in sports.)
Welcome back… to consciousness. I am sorry I hit you with that pan. You had scared me when you snuck up in the kitchen three nights ago – what I am doing drinking straight from the carton is none of your business, it stays between me and the milk. Anyway, happy you’re ok. Almost considered wrapping you in a rug and throwing you in a river… nothing personal, just another one of those “oopsie” things. – What’s that? Oh, yes you definitely deserve the next team. Well, let’s see. Ah, yes. Our last team is the Arizona Tribe, which is a little controversial. – You don’t see why? – You’re telling me there are teams in your universe named the Redskins, Indians, and after individual tribes themselves? – It’s called tradition? – In all sports? Yeesh I’m not touching that one with a ten-foot pole. Instead, I’ll talk about Cooper Dust.
ARIZONA TRIBE
Cooper Dust is a son of the valley. He was born in the city of Jerome, Arizona, where his family scraped up enough money collecting the state’s most precious material, turquoise. Sure, Jerome was a mecca for copper, but the Dust family just weren’t catching on. Success came when Cooper moved to Phoenix, starting his own large, block ice company for pool cooling. He served 15ftx15ft blocks of ice to the elite of Phoenix, and it paid handsomely. Outside of the skewed reasoning for his team’s identity, Dust is a fine fellow. He volunteers around the town, making it his mission to better the place that has given him so much. His care taking and general love for Arizona has earned him some political pull, giving him full support when it came to a brand-new hockey team in the area. “Who better to own a team than the ice man”, people said. Hopefully, the block ice business and hockey correlate in some way.
The team name was picked by Cooper to, “give credit to Arizona where it is due”. Many thought Dust picked the name to give recognition to the state’s large native population, but they were wrong. Instead, Cooper said, “The name is to celebrate the courage of the state. Arizona has one of the largest redskin populations in the nation, providing refuge to those who need it. Now let’s get this powwow going”! In reality, Dust loves every single individual who calls Arizona home. From north to south, Flagstaff to Tucson, there isn’t a soul he’d ever intentionally disrespect from state 48. The insensitive demeanor comes from the prat like daze he lives in. Again, the man’s family picked turquois over what inspired the state’s nickname.
The logo? Doesn’t help any case. Cooper sees it as a proud native in the days before civilization, fearless and dominant. The colors are what Cooper calls, “Dark Adobe” (pronounced “Add-O-Bee” by the owner), turquois and white. The Dark Adobe is the base color on the primary, being garnished with the other two colors excessively. Dust says it is meant to look like “one of those blankets Indians make”, which wouldn’t be that bad if he worded it differently. The away is simply a swap of the home.
The Tribe is led by a two-headed, foreign monster. Starting with Quebec forward, Joe Benoit, and backed by Latvian defenseman, Andress Riekstins. A third party, sunshine state native, Wayne Zimmerman, is an oldie but a goodie, providing depth in a league that lacks it.
Last edited by Thehealthiestscratch (7/21/2023 2:45 am)
Osgiliath Guard wrote:
