As per usual during the Los Angeles Sabercats' Rookie Draft Announcement, Football Owner Stickman, flanked by his prized wiener dogs Ketchup and Mustard, approached the podium. Just as Ketchup was beginning the sentence, a sudden cry appeared out of nowhere land.
"Having the dog talk for you?" the voice cried out mockingly, "How... passe!. You want a dramatic selection, honey? Let me show you how it's done!"
The lights went out and when they came back on, Football Stickman was nowhere to be seen (and was probably dead, don't ask me how I know this), the two dogs wrestling on the ground biting themselves, and Basketball Stickman, complete with his Phantom of the Opera Mask (with a fabulous, yet classy, L.A.-graffiti art style painted on it) standing with his arms wide, expecting an ovation. None came.
"All proper Press Conferences contain Comedy and Tragedy. I begin... with Tragedy" he began loudly, though by the end was near whispering. "I regret to inform everyone that I will no longer be owning my beloved New Orleans Revelers. Yes, I'm afraid a bad business deal with the local mafia has forced me to resign my position effective immediately. But I don't want to retire, heavens no!. So, I'll just take over this lovely little franchise instead. You do admit that I'm SO much more entertaining than that boring old account owner, don't you?" No response.
"Huh. Tough crowd. City of Angels my... OH! You wanted to know the Comedy? Why, it's only this, the Los Angeles Sabercats 1st Round Rookie Selection!"
Curtains that had magically appeared behind the eccentric mystery man opened up to reveal Stickan's Crockettes doing their dance (although they were now wearing cat themed clothes, the "Killer Kitties" as Stickman would reveal later). When the dance was over, the girls split in two groups, revealing the horrifying sight of Buffalo Bolts QB Patrick Mahomes, tied up and gagged (and also attempting to scream in horror). "Yes, I pick Mr. Ma Homies himself! Aren't I a stinker?" Unfortunately for Basketball Stickman, the press was so used to the Stickmen's insane plots that they weren't even phased anymore (although Mahomes was quickly rescued).
"Fine, fine. I'll play by your rules. We'll pick Mr. Drake Maye, the Quarterback out of North Carolina. The old owner should have picked Justin Herbert in last year's redraft, what a dunce! So, I'll just learn from history and pick the guy I think looks and likely plays the most like him!" With a puff of smoke, Basketball (or should we say New Football Owner) Stickman disappeared, Ketchup and Mustard the wiener dogs looking around in confusion before beginning to bite each other once more.
Just in case you didn't want to read all that, the Sabercats are picking Drake Maye, QB
