Today, New Orleans Revelers owner Basketball Stickman arrived to announce the uniform that the Revelers would wear. Journalist Dick Dingleberry, usually annoyed and uninterested in Stickman's press conferences, noted there were no shirtless, heavily oiled Gator Boyz, no Crockettes, nobody except Stickman. Very strange indeed. Even stranger, Stickman appeared to be remarkably tired and, strangely for him, very irritated.
"21 Hours....." Stickman started, sounding lethargic and weak, a far cry from his usual over the top, dramatic ringmaster of the circus voice "21 miserable..... depressing..... poorly serviced..... bumpy....... hours on airplanes..... traveling to Honolulu, thinking we were playing them..... traveling back when I saw we were ACTUALLY playing the Indiana Cardinals.......meaning I could have stayed...... at home...... Party Gras-ing.......all because of a scheduling error........ I won't even discuss what they did to me during my surprise security search......" Dick very much was curious about the "security search", wanting to savor the idea of the annoying Stick-idiot suffering, but Stickman was continuing his monologue.
".....just wait till we play the Lancers....... I might even.....send my personal Leprechaun assistant Nancy over to.... pay.... friend Gritty....... a visit...... heh, heh, heh.... I may even send......" Stickman's voice turned deeper, more menacing, "..........Mister....... Boppie...... with..... them.....ha....heehee....Ha.....hee haw.......heh.... WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!" Stick's voice suddenly rang out as he screeched out in maniacal laughter. Dingleberry was frozen in fear..... actual fear of this lunatic. Suddenly, Stickman abruptly stopped laughing.
"Wait..... what are you doing here, Dick?"
"I...... uh...... you literally asked me to come to your press conference to tell me what jerseys the Revelers are wearing. Not that I care much, I'm assuming you're wearing white at home, but what in the actual $&(+ was that nonsense about paying Gritty a visit? Are you threatening the commissioner? And I'm not letting you off the hook about this Mr. Boppie nonsense! Who is that? WHAT is that?"
"Yes. We are wearing white this week. Now leave me, old wrinkled human. I need to be alone now" Stickman turned and walked away, leaving Dick all by himself, as confused as you readers are now.
